The Moment Everything Changed

As I have spent the majority of my recent days and nights staring at Melanie's sweet little face, I've spent a lot of time thinking about her. I think about how perfect and beautiful she is. I worry about how to best take care of her. I wonder what kind of person she will become and the things she will do in her life. I think about the moment she was born.

I carried Melanie for 38 weeks. I thought about her all the time. I tried to imagine what she'd look like and what the moment of her birth would be like. Nothing I imagined was even close to what it was really like. As I was pushing there were several times when I almost panicked, wondering if I could do it. One time I even yelled out that I couldn't. Spencer and the nurses assured me that I could. Finally, that last push came and I heard her cry. They laid her on my stomach and all I could do was say "Oh my goodness!" over and over again.

All of a sudden, everything became real. It was like I never understood, through 9 months of pregnancy and 8 hours of labor, that my daughter was actually coming. Nothing has been the same since. She has only been here for 5 days, but I don't know how we lived without her before. I loved the years that Spencer and I had together with just the two of us, but now there is so much more. It's like Melanie created this huge space in my heart just so she could fill it. There wasn't empty space before, just more love now.

I am so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for her. And all these darn postpartum hormones make me cry whenever I think about it. It's a little embarrassing. We have been so blessed. Even though I am exhausted in every way, this week has been the most incredible one of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I knew that having a baby meant things would never be the same, but I didn't know that everything would change.

More about Melanie

Well, we are just hanging out at the hospital this morning. Spencer will be coming at noon during his break from classes to pick us up and bring us home.

This is us right now. :) 

Melanie's first night was a long one. We are both learning how to do this whole nursing thing, so she was pretty hungry. I got about an hour of sleep while they took her to do some tests. They put her back by my bedside after they were over, and I'm not sure how long she was there before she started squawking. After a couple hours of just being awake, then getting upset from being hungry we got a little help from a nurse and Melanie got a good meal in. Then I got her to sleep and tried to put her down. She woke up. Every single time. So I just held her. By 4:30 or 5 am I was so tired and I kept falling asleep with her in my arms, so I sent her off to the nursery to get some sleep. I didn't mind holding her and looking at her all night, but I didn't exactly sleep the night before either. 

Sometime around 2am.

Spencer spent the night at home, where he could sleep more comfortably. He came back in the morning and I got a few more hours of sleep while he held Melanie. They sure are cute together. :) He picked up the tricks on how to get her bundled up nice and tight by watching the nurses and he even changed her diaper once. 

Changing her diaper.

My friend Rachel came by to visit and Spencer's Dad stopped by to say hi on his way through town at night. We Skyped with Dad and Christy and with Marianne. Melanie and I got better at nursing throughout the day. 

Snoozy.

Streeeeeetch! (Look at those cute toes!)

Last night she did much better. I got her fed and snoozing by about midnight and I sent her to the nursery. I told the nurses to bring her back if she got hungry. I woke up around 4:30 and was surprised they hadn't brought her in to eat yet, so I had them bring her back. She stayed asleep for a while and didn't end up eating until 7, but we got some good snuggles in. :) And I took some pictures. 

Isn't she just perfect? 

This morning we snoozed together and when they took her to do her jaundice test I took a shower. It's amazing how something as simple as showering can make you feel so much better. Now we are just hanging out for a couple more hours until Spencer comes. She just ate again and is asleep in my arms. (I know, my multitasking is impressive: holding a baby and typing! With two hands!) 

Some things about Melanie: 

• She gets more beautiful each day. :) Mostly, she had a little swelling on her face from birth and that has gone down. She looks absolutely perfect.
• She has one of the quietest baby cries I've ever heard. Way quieter than that kid down the hall... ;) Really though, until she is MAD, her cry is like a little kitten whimpering and it breaks my heart. 
• She loves to stretch her legs out and show off all 19.5 inches of herself. 
• Sometimes she makes a grumpy face and she looks just like Sour Bill from Wreck it Ralph (except not green). 

Melanie

Sour Bill

Melanie. See what I mean? 

• She sneezes multiple times. Another win for my genes!
• Her favorite way to snuggle is on her side, right next to me on my side. We just face each other and put some blankets over us and she is happy as a clam. She's a bed hog though. She somehow manages to worm closer and closer, so I scoot back a little and pretty soon she's in the middle of the bed. 

• Oh, and she has hairy little ears. :) 

And some videos! 

Yesterday I wrote about this little EEEP noise she makes. I caught it on video this morning. :) 

Melanie Carla Thornock

Melanie Carla Thornock was born this morning (August 23, 2014) at 7:03 am!!

Last night at about 10:40 my water broke. I was surprised, because I had not been feeling any contractions, but I immediately knew what it was when I felt the little snap before the gush. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, giving Spencer directions of the last minute things we had to take with us and we headed out the door! 

The picture's not very good, but don't we look excited?! We're on our way!

Checking in!  

And here we go! Last pregnant pictures! (There were still no contractions at this point.)

 After a series of pokes, prods, and tests, I got up to walk around for a while to get things moving along. Spencer walked with me for a while, around 2 am I told him he should get some sleep while he still could. He looks comfy, doesn't he?

 Eventually we got him some sheets and he pulled out the sleeper bed. Note the clock: 4:30am. He didn't know it, but he only had 30 minutes left before things got crazy!

From there, things progressed pretty quickly. I was dilated to a three when I was admitted (I had been at a one on Tuesday). Because my water had already broken, they said they would start a Pitocin drip to get contractions going at 5am if I wasn't showing good progress by then. They checked me around 4:50 and I was at a five. I figured I'd wake Spencer up at 5, but between 4:50 and 5 my contractions REALLY picked up and I decided I needed his support right then. They checked me at 5, and I was at an 8! At this point, I was ready for some pain killers, but I was informed that I was moving too quickly and they didn't want to risk them effecting the baby. By 6:30 I was ready to start pushing, and out she came at 7:03! It was really hard, but at least it was fast. Spencer and the nurses and doctor were all awesome at supporting me. They kept telling me that I was making great progress and the nurses coached me through the whole thing. Right when we got checked into the hospital Spencer gave me a blessing that I'd have the strength to do this, and that blessing was all that got me through at some points. I had to rely on that blessing, because everything else in me was exhausted. I did it in the end, and they put our little girl on my stomach as they started to clean her up and stitch me up. I was just completely awe-struck. Our baby was actually here.

She weighed in at 7 pounds 12 ounces and is 19.5 inches long.

Spencer was awesome. He held my hand and reassured me. And he nearly passed out when she was born. In the commotion right after she came out I heard him say that he was feeling kinda light headed, but nobody else heard him and I was a little preoccupied. He said it again a minute later and nurse sat him down and got him some orange juice. :) He sat by me and held my hand through all the work they had to do on me afterward. I tore fairly badly, so it took them forever to stitch me up and take care of all the post-baby stuff. It was painful (they did give me some pain meds eventually, but not until I was well into the recovery stuff) and I was totally worn out and it was just about all I could do not to cry.

After they took some measurements and did some tests, they gave her back to me for some skin to skin contact. She's a miracle.

He is one proud, tired Daddy.

The rest of the morning is a bit of a blur. Spencer and I held her a lot. We texted our families and I dozed a little bit between nurses popping in and out to check on me or Melanie. Eventually we decided on her name, and we signed her birth certificate and some other documents.

A little before lunch they moved us from the delivery room to the recovery room, where we will be staying until Monday. Spencer held Melanie a lot and I finally got a couple hours of sleep. Once I got some sleep and ate lunch, I was feeling much better. I'm still very sore, but every time I look over and see Melanie in Spencer's arms or look down at her in mine, I can't help but smile. Here are some pictures of our little girl.

She has hair! Lots of it!

She totally has Spencer's nose and hair, but when she cries she sometimes snorts. And that definitely comes from me. haha

 Long fingers.

And tiny, cute toes.

Every once in a while she lets out this "EEEP!", like a little chick. Just one. Then she proceeds to make a bunch of faces like she's choking, but she's still breathing.

 Spencer's Mom and Dad, Katy, Josh, Carrina, Collin, and Brigham came to visit tonight for a while. They took Spencer out for dinner, since he doesn't get hospital food like me. Oh, and I finally took a shower before they came!

We are so excited to have Melanie here! She is healthy and beautiful and absolutely perfect. :) I'm feeling good, all things considered. Recovery is going well. Thanks so much for all the prayers and support! 

White Coat Ceremony

Oh, gosh. I need to get this blog up to date! This baby could come ANY DAY, and if I don't get caught up before that happens it might never happen.

Reading the Hippocratic Oath. This picture was on CMU's homepage last week. 

Spencer has officially started medical school!! He had a week of orientation and is in his second week of classes now. The friday of his orientation week was his white coat ceremony. His family came up for it and we had a nice time celebrating him! Plus, he just looks so spiffy in that white coat. They had a few speakers and then coated the students in groups of 5. Overall, it was a nice ceremony and it wasn't even too long. The pictures I'm putting up were stolen from CMed's facebook page. I took some that I will upload someday, too.

Just after being coated. 

Listening to a speaker. Not being distracted by the camera. 

This was a little reception held afterward. We're not in this picture. 

Spencer has been enjoying school. So far, a lot of it has been a review of what they should have learned in their undergrads. He hasn't been too busy with schoolwork yet, but he does study for a few hours each night after dinner or whenever he comes home. He has 2 afternoons and 1 morning scheduled as "self-study" time each week. Some days he walks, some days I drop him off before running errands, and some days I let him take the car.

I have been keeping busy with stuff. Okay, I'm not really that busy. In fact, my boredom has translated into impatience as I wait for baby girl to decide to come. I have been working with the sister missionaries and helping to teach Rachel, an investigator. That's been really cool. Plus, it's almost like I'm making friends. :) The sister missionaries came over one day a couple weeks ago to help me assemble some freezer meals, so that was awesome. I have a freezer full of several dinners and nearly a month worth of lunches for Spencer to take with him. Hooray!

I've been working hard to establish good habits and stay on top of cleaning in our new apartment. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Better than I have been in the past, anyway. I have also been working on the baby's quilt, which is going to be super awesome!

This week I actually packed the hospital bag and put it in the corner with the car seat, all ready to go. Actually, I have to stick my camera charger and a few other things in there still. I have weekly doctor appointments now. I had one yesterday and the doctor said I'm dilated one centimeter and that she could come any day. Yay! However, just because she COULD come any day doesn't mean she WILL. So don't hold your breath. I am so ready for her to come though. I've assembled the bassinet and washed all of her bedding and 0-3 month clothing. And now I feel content to wait impatiently.

And this is my 37 week bump! I'll be 38 weeks tomorrow. Out of 40. 

T-minus One Month... (give or take)

Yesterday was officially one month from my due date! I haven't written a whole lot about my pregnancy, so I think it's time for a post about it. After all, this little girl could be here in 2 weeks. Or she could wait another 6 weeks. Who knows?

I still don't have much to complain about as far as symptoms go. I have gotten a lot bigger in the last few weeks, and I spend a lot of my day trying to be more comfortable. Unfortunately, being comfortable and getting useful things done do not go hand in hand. I really need to get this new condo all organized before she comes though, so I'm keeping busy most of the time. Or I decide to blog, because that's productive too, right? haha.

I have gotten a lot of compliments on how I look for being 8 months along. Everyone who comments says how small I am, and that's very nice of them. I usually have a hard believing it, but it's still nice to hear. It's hard sometimes to see your body change so much and so quickly. Amazing, yeah, but most of the changes aren't as welcome as the little one that's growing in there. :)

On the other hand, we are getting so excited to meet our baby girl. No, we haven't picked a name yet. In fact, we've decided not to pick until we're at the hospital and have to make it official. Whenever I think we've picked for sure, I end up not liking the name a few days later. Even if we did pick, we wouldn't tell you. Just in case we change our minds.

She wiggles a LOT now. She has been for a few months now. Her favorite place to hang out is on the right side, so sometimes I can see that my stomach is lopsided from her leaning that way. She is usually sitting (not really sitting, but I can't think of a better word) in a way that puts pressure on the right side of my ribcage. Sometimes I poke her until she moves over. Or I just squish her whole little body to the left. She's supposed to be over 5 pounds now.

Here are some things that I think about now:

• I wonder what she'll look like. Will she look like me or like Spencer? Will I even be able to tell if she looks more like a Moore or a Thornock? I'm sure people will tell us anyway. :) 
• Will she have any hair? (If she does, we all know it'll be from the Thornock side.)
• I think a lot about what that moment will be like after all the hard work is over and I get to see her for the first time. I think I'll probably cry. I hope one of the nurses will take a picture for us. 
• I hope Spencer's not in the middle of an exam or something when it's time to go to the hospital. 
• I wonder if/how I will be strong enough to have her. Pain isn't exactly something I've had a ton of experience with, and I don't think I have a very high tolerance level. Sometimes stubbing my toe makes me want to cry.
• I hope she's strong and healthy and ready to come right home with us. 
• I have no idea what to expect for the recovery, so I keep wondering what other things I need to do before she comes. Freezer meals and making sure I'm caught up with cleaning is all I can really think of. 
• I need to buy diapers and pack a hospital bag at some point... how early do I do that? 
• I think a lot about the responsibility that we are taking on as parents. I pray a lot that we will be ready. I feel God's love for her and am amazed that he is putting her in our care. Then I feel His reassurance that He will help us take care of her. 
• I hope that she always feels loved, because she certainly is.

Mount Pleasant

Well, we are finally here! On Friday, we got the keys to our new home. Dad, Patrick, Ashley (Patrick's girlfriend), and Brigham came up to Mount Pleasant with us (Dad pulled our uHaul trailer for us) and helped us unload. Thanks so much everyone! Dad took us to lunch after we got it all unloaded and then they all went back to Grand Haven. Spencer and I spent the rest of the day unpacking things and making a trip to Meijer buy some essentials. Moving is expensive.

On Saturday morning, Mom and Dad drove up with another load of stuff (mostly the bedroom set they got us and baby stuff). They pretty much just dropped it off and headed back to Grand Haven. We stayed for a few hours unpacking some things and watching Wreck It Ralph with some lunch. :) Our neighbor Irene knocked on our door to say hi and drop off some cookies, which were so good! She's a member of the ward here, and I think we're lucky to have her as a neighbor. She said with 26 (or something) grandchildren she's had a little experience and won't mind helping out once in a while when the baby comes.

We drove back to Grand Haven Saturday afternoon for the Coast Guard Festival fireworks that night. We also had a few last items to gather from around the house there. We had a nice dinner all together and Dad made a cobbler in the dutch oven. Mmmm. :) There were a LOT of people there for the fireworks, but we found a spot to watch them from. They were really good. I do love fireworks.

Sunday morning we got up early barely early enough to drive back to Mount Pleasant for church. The ward here seems really nice. A lot of people introduced themselves and made us feel welcome. They have a set of sister missionaries here, so I told them that I'd love to go teach a lesson with them sometime. They also said that they want to come over sometime this week to help me with unpacking or cleaning or whatever I need help with. I might put them to work helping me prep some freezer meals.... we'll see.

Today was Spencer's first day of orientation week for school. He is officially a medical student!! I drove him to campus, since I had to go to the same building anyway. More about that in a second. It sounds like he enjoyed his first day. He met his assigned study group and got his ID and clicker for anytime access to the building. He said he didn't meet any other students from BYU, but there are a few other married or engaged students in his class.

I went to the building to drop off my supplemental application to CMU's Doctor of Physical Therapy program! I submitted the main application online on Friday morning before we left Grand Haven. I figured I'd just bring it to campus  rather than putting it in the mail, so I brought it to the office and met the woman who works with the admissions. She was very nice and she made me feel great about my application. She answered all my questions about completing my last prerequisite and about the program in general. She even said to let her know if I need a recommendation for a daycare. :) Then she said we should stop by the office next to her and introduce me to the Dean of admissions. So he and I had a nice conversation about stuff. He showed me the matrix they use to determine who is accepted and pulled up my application. He said it's pretty much a perfect application. So that made me feel pretty good! I applied for the early decisions deadline, and if I am accepted as an early decisions candidate, I will find out by September 25th. If I am not accepted then, my application would be resubmitted with the early admissions pool, and then the general admissions pool. So, that's it. I've officially applied. It's kind of exciting.

After leaving campus, I went to the store to get more groceries and a few other things we needed. Then I came home and took a nap, ate some lunch, and finished unpacking and organizing all my clothes. Spencer got home around 5, and we made a whole bunch of meatballs for dinner and the freezer. Things are coming together. We still have a bunch of boxes to unpack and some things to buy for the apartment, but a little more gets done each day. We're excited to be here. And I'm excited to only be 6 minutes away from my hospital. Just in case.

Ironwood!

Things have been busy! A few weeks ago I took the GRE, so I spent a few days doing almost nothing  but trying to work up the motivation to study and studying for that. I am happy with how I scored, and even happier that it's over. :) That's not really what this post is about, but I figured I should throw it in this blog somewhere.

A couple weeks ago we drove up to Ironwood for a visit! We went up on a Sunday and came back on a Friday. I don't really remember what we did when, but that's alright.

We got to see Christy!! She's back from Chile, and it was so fun to see her and hear about some of her adventures. Plus, Christy is just a lot of fun. One morning she went to Mrs. Burchell's (my high school tennis coach) workout class and I went to say hi. (The workout might have killed me.)

I got to see Judi, one of my very best friends, and her 5-week-old, not-so-tiny baby, Seth! He was so so cute! Several months ago I bought fabric to make a baby blanket for him, and I finally got it finished up while we were staying there. It was so nice to see Judi again and to catch up. Plus we got to talk all about our pregnancies and stuff. Hopefully we'll see them again in December.

I got my hair cut short! I like it. I guess that's about all there is to say about that.

We went to lunch with Auntie Janny twice! And she gave us some money to get ourselves a treat at Ben Franklins (a store downtown), so we bought some cute things for the baby - a onesie that says "I Moose Have a Hug" with matching socks and a piggy bank shaped like a cow. We love you, Janny!

We went strawberry picking out at Saxon Berry Farm one day. That was fun, but it's not all that easy to pick strawberries when you're nearly 8 months pregnant. The berries were amazing though! We ate a bunch, Christy made us some delicious strawberry shortcake one night, and we froze the rest.

One night we all went out to dinner at the Bell Chalet, and it was every bit as good as I remembered it being. Just thinking about it makes me want some more of that pasta!

Dad spent the days at work, but he'd come home around lunch time to say hi and visit for a little bit. We spent a lot of time relaxing and watching shows that Dad had recorded on his Tivo. :) We did make dinner one night and I made some cinnamon rolls one of the mornings. I didn't take very many pictures, but I have a few on my camera that I'll upload when things settle in a little more and I find my card reader. As I'll write about in my next post, we just moved into our new apartment in Mount Pleasant!

It was a perfect little visit, and I'm so happy that we went. We probably won't make it up that way again until Spencer's Christmas break, but Dad and Christy will be coming down to visit us at some point after the baby comes. :) It sure is nice being closer to family.